The Diary of T M Riddle
by The FAIO Liberation Front
Summary: A soggy journal was found in the corner of a bathroom. Follow Tom Marvolo Riddle through his sixth year as he befriends snakes and states his, erm, highly opinionated comlpaints about school, people, and... Highly fashionable winter-wear? Fake emo-ness.
1. This Journal Belongs to

_This is the Journal of:_

_**T. M. Riddle**_

_**1942**__ to __**1943**_

_16420 Vauxhall Road, London_

_-M  
_


	2. Quick Biography of Moi

(For the best experience, read on 1/2 page and with the black background)

September 6

Dear Diary,

I have just started my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The previous years have been dreadfully boring and only when I find the need to explain myself thoroughly will I refer to them. However, I shall record the events of this school year for my, ah, entertainment. Well, I am in a rush, I must leave the orphanage before 'Ol Dumbly gets worried. Damn bothersome git…

Love,

Tommy

-M


	3. Alice the Snake

Dear Diary,

I met a wonderful snake today. She said her name was Alice and she had come from the kitchens. She has bright green and silver scales. I can't quite place what her coloring reminds me of, though... Oh well. Arnie Collins teased me today about falling down the moving staircases, so I set Alice on him. Only the fool Dumbledore know I can speak to snakes, so no one will suspect me! Well, Melanie DeLancer hear hissing in the Charms Corridor (me) so I removed her memory with a new spell I invented. I call it _"Obliviate." _Don't know what it means, it just sounds catchy.

Love,

Tommy

-M


	4. A Wonderful Day and Stupid Hufflepuffs

Dear Diary,

I had the most _wonderful_ day today. Professor Slughorn declared I was best in my class last term! I think I'll go find Alice and have her bite Jake Thompson from Hufflepuff as celebration. Why, you ask? Because he tried to partner with me during Potions! As if I'd let my marks slip because I am paired with an idiot. Grrr. And he's in Hufflepuff, _come on._

Love,

Tommy

-M


	5. Pencils and Kneazles

Dear Diary,

Today I found a muggle tool called a pencil. (I've seen them at the orphanage, though I've only used pens of the highest caliber.) Alice liked it, so I am using it, that is the ONLY reason. Pshh, it's not like it was green and sparkly, no way. Oops, I drooled on the page… That aside, I was bitten by a kneazle in Professor Kettleburn's class. He laughed at me while the oaf Hagrid told me not to stroke behind it's ears. I must get him back for that! No one messes with Tommy without telling me first! …Wait…

Love,

Tommy

-M


	6. Arm Wrestling and Rueing

(The reason he broke his wrist is because every time the journal /in real life/ changes handwriting, we explain it as… well, read on, good sir or lady…)

Dear Diary,

I broke my wrist in an arm wrestling match! Being as awesome as I am, I'm ambidextrous, just my handwriting is completely messed up. Rubeus Hagrid, the boy who is responsible for this outrage will pay! I plan to set Alice on him (Wow, she comes in handy sometimes…) in the morning, but that is only the first step in my quest for revenge. This Hagrid boy will rue the day he humiliated me and beat me at arm wrestling~! Maybe I shall frame him for something. Think, Riddle. Maybe if whatever it is I am doing will make me become more evil and awesome…

Love,

Tommy

-C


	7. A Strange Dream

Dear Diary,

Last night I had the strangest dream. There was this really cool kid with broken glasses and an epic scar on his head. I hate him, scrawny git. If I ever meet someone like that I shall slay his entire family, and then, when he has nothing, I shall kill him! Bwahaha. Then I will cut my self, because I'm cool like that. In other news, Alice was scared of a rooster the other day. I was going to tell her to just man up and deal with it, but then I realized that everyone has to be afraid of something, and it's okay to be scared. _NOT. _Only freaking softies say that.

Love,

Tommy

-C


	8. Rare Peice of Magic

(Ohh, multiple people writing one chapter! See if you can follow it.)

Dear Diary,

I was in the library last night and read some strange things about a rare piece of magic. -M

I broke my wrist _again_ and am writing with my other hand. Depression… Moving on, the magic is awesome! It's like, splitting your soul into two peices and putting in a magical device! Minerva (a Gryffindor, eww) told me I needed to leave the library, as it was 10:30, but gave me a funny look… Alice is growing!

Love,

Tommy

-V


	9. Tainted With Gryffindor

(Please do not take offense to the insult at the end of this entry. I'm supportive of gays/bi's/lesbians. Just… Tom Riddle apparently isn't.)

Dear Diary,

Minerva kissed me at breakfast! Disgusting! My pure lips have been tainted with Gryffindor! She smelled good though…

Alice is huge! She's the size of my bed. It's getting harder to hide her so I flushed her down the toilet so she could hopefully find somewhere to hide. I cried but the f***** fathead Dumbles said I had to go to bed! What a gay!

Love,

Tommy

-V


	10. The Slug Club

Dear Diary,

I went to a Slug Club party a couple of hours ago. It was dreadful. I thought I would inject some poison into his crystallized pineapple (Which, by the way, tastes _disgusting._). But then I realized I just had a stupid moment: Sluggy is a Potions professor…

…

…

…

Alice ate my bedside table!

Love,

Tommy

-M


	11. Ms Lullium's Finest Wizard Apparel

Dear Diary,

It is almost winter already. In Hogsmead there is a new robe and cloak shop called Ms. Lullium's Finest Wizard Apparel. Apparently it has the warmest cloak, scarf, and glove sets! But because my parents are either dead or have abandoned me to live in a hellhole of an orphanage, they cannot sign the form. So I had to Imperius the first year Poppy Pomfrey ( A Hufflepuff. Grrr!) to steal them for me. I'm all warm and toasty now, yay.

Love,

Tommy

-M


	12. Ponder, Ponder

Dear Diary,

This afternoon in the library, while I was pondering something (Don't fret, children, I will explain later) the first year Roldolphus Lestrange and his engaged girlfriend Bellatrix Black (It's an arranged marriage.) were staring at me with strange gleams in their eyes. Hey, hey, I'm single, but threesomes are disgusting! Anyway, I was thinking of a name for myself. Half-Blood Prince, hmmm… But that makes it sound like I'm related to Eileen Prince. Oh well, I'll think of something.

Love,

Tommy

-M


	13. Angryness

Dear Diary,

I'd like to throw something! I'm so angry!

-Later-

Well shit, I broke my lamp.

ANYWAY. The stupid, _stupid,_ _stupid_ Hagrid spilled Undiluted Bubotuber Pus on my new gloves and scarf in Potions! Why in the name of Merlin did Slughorn pair me with the oaf! Ugh, now I have to steal another set. And they were limited editions too!

I'm gonna go cut myself now…

Love,

Tommy

-M


	14. Rudely Interru

Dear Diary,

Being evil is so cool. You can like ju

_OHSHIII-_

_IT'S DUMBLES!_

-M


	15. Tea Tree Exfoliating Facial Scrub

Dear Diary,

I apologize for my last entry. Freaking Dumpy-Door found me hiding in the potions corridor so I had to leave. Ahem. Well on to today. I have counted my collection of love letters and I have come to a sum of 163 total. That's four less than last year! I must do something about this outrage. Maybe try that new Tea Tree Exfoliating Facial Scrub I've heard so much about from Abraxas Malfoy. He's the Head Boy and the only Slytherin with luscious …smooth… luxurious…perfect…

Wait, where was I going with this?

Love,

Tommy

-M


	16. Freaking Awesome Horcruxes

Dear Diary,

Curses! Today my pencil has gotten lost and my best red quill is broken!

Ahh, much better. I remembered I bought, make that stole, a green quill while I /stole/ my ruined scarf set. It writes the same color as Alice. Speaking of her, I haven't seen her in a while. Hopefully she is safe. I have done more research on Horcruxes, and I have wondered if you can split your soul into more than two pieces. Like, seven… Yeah, seven would be freaking awesome! You'd be, like, immortal and stuff. I suppose I'll ask Sluggy next meeting.

Love,

Tommy

-M


	17. A Winner is You

Dear Diary,

Aha! You can split your soul into seven pieces! A winner is me. In another spark of my unlimited brilliance, this diary shall become my first Horcrux! None shall know what had hit them when Lord Voldemort becomes the most feared wizard in Great Britain! Who is Lord Voldemort, you ask? Me! My new awesome pen name!

TomMarvoloRiddle

IAmLordVoldemort

See? It's like an ACRONYM!

Kisses,

Voldie

-M


End file.
